Relax Is Not Surrendering

A mistake that I make is in not making a distinction between relaxing and going limp (aka surrendering). When my opponent pushes, in order not to resist his force, I try to relax. But my form of relaxing is wrong, it is taking the strength out of my arm and going limp, thus allowing my opponent to come in. In a way, it is surrendering to the opponent.

Relaxing is not about going limp. If the contact is at the arm, relaxing is not about taking the strength out of the arm. While going limp means you are not resisting your opponent, you are surrendering to him, which is wrong as well. So how do you relax, and without letting your arm go limp, still avoid resisting your opponent's force?

I think the key is to relax the joints, such that when your opponent's force comes in, the different joints move in various amounts to absorb his force, and at the same time, the joints turn together to deflect his force and direct it towards a direction of your choice. There must always be peng at the point of contact so as to maintain contact. Even though your peng is outwards at the point of contact, yet because your other joints are moving to change the direction of your opponent's force, you are not resisting his force. Guess I will be paying more attention to this in the future.