Relax Is The Key

I think I have been told this many times. Relaxing is the key. The harder you try to achieve something, the harder it becomes for you to relax, and thus the harder it is for you to achieve your goal (because taiji is all about relaxing). So sometimes, it is better to just be accepting of whatever is thrown your way, accepting of what things are at the present. Don't push yourself, you might just move ahead on your own.

Don't Play With Your Food

I haven't reached a certain skill level in pushing hands, and thus continue to use some brute force whenever I push hands. However, because I am able to use less brute force than my opponent, I can still discern his force and thus am able to deflect or lead it away. However, I still use force because I usually let him come in too close, and once he is too close, I can no longer ward off his force without having to use a bit of my own. The moral of the story? Don't play with your food. When you can sense his force, immediately relax and then peng to ward off his force. Don't let him come in too close.

But if you always do this, you will only learn how to ward off using peng, which is not everything. Once in a while, you need to learn to let him in so that you can learn to stick to him and lead him away in a direction of your choice. When doing so, you need to realise that if you are unable to lead him away, you should just let him push you, so as to avoid using brute force.

By the way, the title is not meant to demean practice partners in pushing hands. Just that it is a common idiom and makes it easier to remember this point.