External Motivation

We all need motivation to train. Of course, it would be best if we have intrinsic motivation, the desire to want to become better that spurs us to keep practising and practising every day, for hours each day. However, it takes a lot of self-discipline to do so, and that is where external motivation comes in.

To me, external motivation comes in three main forms:

1. One's teacher

2. One's peers

3. One's students (if one is teaching)

For around 10 years, I had been under the tutelage of Master Kwek before I moved to Japan and ended up on my own. During that period, my motivation was to meet the expectations of my teacher. I kept practising so that I became better, which would prompt my teacher to teach me more. The more I practised, the better I became, and the more I was taught.

I also had other students of Master Kwek around me, and I kept practising because I wanted to catch up with those students who had started learning earlier than me, so that I can join in their class and not hold it back. When new students started appearing, I kept practising so that I remain ahead of them and served as an example for them. In this way, having peers (fellow students) served as motivation to keep practising too.

Eventually, I reached a stage where Master Kwek would let me lead his classes. This provided me with a pseudo experience of having my own students. It also made me practise more, because when you are leading a class and teaching others, they expect you to be "correct". Meeting the expectations of the "students" became another motivation for me to keep practising.

Today, I am on my own, without Master Kwek to look at my progress, no peers to compare my progress with, and no students for whom I need to meet their expectations. In a way, I no longer have external motivation to practise, and I seriously feel the impact of this. I no longer practise 2 to 5 hours each day, every day. Instead of practising to become better, my practice has lapsed into a state of repeating the movements so that I don't forget them. I don't feel myself getting better; I fear I have gotten worse. I only hope that I will find something that would trigger greater intrinsic motivation within me to practise more.

Sigh.