About Being On My Own

In August 2015, I left Singapore and moved to Japan, and basically came to be on my own when it comes to my taiji journey. Of course, I do try to return to Singapore when I can and let my teacher, Mr Kwek, take a look at my progress on this journey. COVID-19 kind of threw this into limbo and it has been a while since I was able to return to Singapore.

So I am kind of really on my own for a while now. And it is not just in taiji. Last year, my calligraphy teacher moved to another prefecture at one end of Honshu, which also means I no longer have the chance to directly learn from her. Under her, I have reached the stage when I am ready to go for grading to become a calligraphy teacher.

In both taiji and calligraphy, it is when I am on my own that I actually become a lot more motivated to practise. Of course, I had been practising a lot of taiji when I was in Singapore under Mr Kwek, but there were stretches when work prevented me from going for classes, and during those stretches, I didn't really practise on my own too. But now, without a teacher or regular classes to attend, I end up trying to practise every day on my own, whether it is routines or just basic exercises. While the total amount of time spent on practices may have dropped from my peak while in Singapore, I would say I am more consistent in the amount of practice.

Similarly, ever since my calligraphy teacher moved away, I have been practising more often on my own. In the past, I wasn't really a good student, practising calligraphy like only for the minimum required. But now, I will take my own initiative to practise, to write things and such. I guess it is when I am truly on my own that I feel motivated (or anxiety, for that matter) to keep practising so that I can at least maintain my standard, if not get better.

Still, to be able to do this requires a certain level of skill before becoming "independent". If I had not reached my level when I left Singapore, I would not know what is good or bad, and no amount of practising on my own would help; instead, it would just mean I keep repeating my mistakes until they become helplessly ingrained into me. For calligraphy, because I have reached this certain level, I am able to independently assess my own pieces and know how to make each practice piece better.

In conclusion, I think it is okay to be on your own. But only after you have reached a certain level that allows you to be able to point out your own mistakes, to know what is good and bad. Before reaching that stage, trying to practise on your own actually becomes a hindrance for reaching greater heights.