Laughing At Myself

Sometimes, when I managed to push someone, I smile at myself. Not because I am happy. Not because I am conceited. But because I am laughing at myself. I am laughing at myself for being so eager to win, even though I know that I should not be so, even though I know that I should be ready to lose. It means I have a long way to go, before I can clear my desire to win, and truly master the spirit of taiji.