太极以掤为首

Everything in taiji starts with peng.

Need I say more?

Rigid to Flaccid to Relax

When we first start out learning taiji, we still use a lot of brute force, there is a tendency to be tense and we end up resisting a lot. We tend to be rigid in this starting stage.

Then we are told that we need to stop resisting. To stop using brute force. As we slowly get rid of the habit of using brute force, we have a tendency to swing in the opposite direction. In order not to resist, we end up having the tendency to let go. When faced with force, we run away. We end up being flaccid.

And then we are told to stop running away, to stop letting go. In taiji, just as it is taboo to resist, it is also taboo to let go. There is a fine balance in between in which you do not use brute force, but you are not totally lacking in force. That is when we start to know what relax is all about.

Not too hard, not too soft, just enough to maintain structure.

Passing On Knowledge

I never try to act like I know a lot about taiji. When my fellow students ask me about taiji or pushing hands, I do my best to share with them what my teacher told me. I pass on the knowledge given to me. That is why I am very reluctant to share with them my own inklings.

And whenever I answer their questions, I will find opportunities to talk to my teacher about those questions and how I answered them. Just to make sure that the answers I gave were what my teacher would have said. After all, he is their teacher, it is his knowledge that should be passed on to them, I am just a conduit.

Win, Lose or Draw

Actually, in pushing hands, I don't think there is any win, lose or draw. Of course, in a pushing hands competition, there is always win-lose-draw, but in pushing hands itself, there is no such thing.

Being able to push someone doesn't mean you win. It just means he was unable to neutralise your force. Being pushed doesn't mean you lose, it just means that you are unable to neutralise your opponent's force. Not being able to push each other doesn't mean it is a draw, it just means that neither of you are able to use the other's force against him.

Ultimately, pushing hands is not about being able to push someone. It is about learning how to sense force, understand force and use force. Just because I can push someone doesn't mean I am good; I could be using brute force and he just was not able to neutralise my brute force. Similarly, just because my teacher is able to push me doesn't mean I am not good; it could just be that I have not reached my teacher's level of being able to sense, understand and use force.

The important thing is to remember what pushing hands is about, and continue to work towards that end goal, instead of being bogged down with the winning and losing.

Move Together With Relax

Something that came into my mind today during pushing hands practice. When we first start pushing hands, my teacher kept stressing about "relax". People tend to become limp when told to relax; that's actually wrong. Also, I tend to separate the "relax" from the "push" (or "move"). It was "relax, then push" or "relax, then move".

But actually, I think it should be done together. It should "push together with relax", "move together with relax". As you relax, you are moving/pushing. It is not one followed by the other, but rather, they should take place together. I think this realisation is a small step towards the right direction. And this realisation came because I was watching a fellow student trying to "relax, then push".

So there is value in watching others. Just to see if you are making the same mistakes.

Being Pushed

Part of pushing hands practice is to help your partner to learn too. So sometimes, you need to use a bit of brute force and resist, or become limp and let go, so that your partner has a chance to learn how to use these opportunities. This is especially so when your partner is still new and uses a lot of brute force himself. In order to draw circles with him, you may end up needing to use some brute force yourself; otherwise, the moment you sense his force, you end up using it against him and he doesn't get a chance to learn anything much. This is called 喂招 in Chinese.

My teacher is very good at this. He can draw circles with us, let us take the advantage but still neutralise whatever we can throw at him eventually. But because I am still not that good yet, if I give my partner some chance, I may not be able to avoid being pushed by him. But I guess that's still better than not giving him a chance at all; it becomes frustrating for him to be the one always being pushed.

One or Two Moves

Today, my teacher was helping me improve on my forms, spotting small little mistakes here and there which I usually overlook. After all, it is not easy to try and focus on getting every detail right all the time, and when I am watching out for A, I make mistakes with B, C and D. Like when I try to relax my kua, I end up leaning slightly forward and my backside sticking out.

So my teacher, knowing that I don't have a lot of time to practise with him, recommended that I take one or two moves which I like, and focus on getting that one or two moves correct. Keep practising them, until I get it right. The principles are the same; if I get that one or two moves correct, I should be able to apply that to the rest of the routine.

I guess that's what I am going to do for my daily morning short practice sessions at home from now on.

Moving The Kidneys

I wrote about moving the whole body the other day. Just read a book, it talks about moving the kidneys. Maybe this is something to focus on that will help.

Basically, the focus of one's attention should be on moving the centre of gravity, which is usually along the spine, in between the two kidneys. So that becomes the focus of attention when moving, when shifting your weight. So how to turn? The hint is in focusing on moving the kidneys with the spine as the pivot. Something to try out in future practices.

Taiji Weapon Forms

The other day, I was watching some other students practice weapon forms. Most are not newbies to taiji, having learnt some form or other, and do know the basic principles of taiji. But their weapon forms show many mistakes, very basic mistakes. Like standing on the same line (which means they easily lose balance), straightening the elbow, etc.

I think we need to remember that taiji weapon forms are an extension of taiji forms. The principles are the same. The things to watch out for are the same. So when practising weapon forms, do remember to apply the basic principles of taiji into the practice, else it just becomes a waste of time.

Which Is Better For Training?

Which is better for training pushing hands? To have partners that play rough? Or those who try to push properly using the techniques of taiji?

First, to get better at pushing hands, you must train with the right mentality. If the mentality is "I must not lose", "I must not let him push me", it matters not who you partners are. You will still not reap the benefits of training. So first, you must go in with the mentality, "I will let them push me." That said, which makes for better training?

Actually, there are things to learn from both. When your partners play rough and use brute force, you learn how to relax and use their force against them. When your partners push properly using the techniques of taiji, you have to relax even more than them to sense their force. So in both cases, you do learn more about pushing hands.

However, when your partners are rough and use brute force, all you need to be is more relaxed than them, and you will be able to use their force against them. In a way, you just need to make less mistakes than them and you will be able to use their force against them. But when your partners use the techniques of taiji, then you must not just learn to relax, but you must not have any mistakes in order to be able to sense their force. So while you can learn from both, you learn more from the latter.

The Whole Body Must Move

Something that my teacher told me today during a practice session. I was telling him that I still feel breaks in my movements, in how force is moving. Somehow, I am still not able to move continuously, to flow from movement to movement.

He went on to explain that I am still not moving my whole body. Yes, my legs are moving, and the movement is translated to my arms. But my body, as in my torso, is not moving enough. The "gears" that move are not just the main joints like the knees, hips, shoulders and elbows, but even the muscles and organs in the torso needs to move. I guess this is one area that I will be working on for my practices.

Power From the Feet

My teacher mentioned a small little point today that I thought I should share. When shifting your weight around, such as when you are pushing with your back leg, the power comes from the sole of the feet, and not from the hips. A lot of the time, the kua is not relaxed, the muscles around the hip area thus become tensed and power cannot be properly transferred from the feet up to the rest of the body. I think what he means is ultimately, relax the kua so that the power from the feet can reach the rest of the body, to where it is needed.

It's All In The Kua

The other day, I was pushing hands with my teacher, when I was able to feel that it was my kua that was allowing my teacher to keep pushing me. Every time I was unable to turn my kua properly, I was unable to neutralise his force, and instead there was a slight resistance on my part that allowed my teacher to use it against me.

In the end, it's all in the kua. Whether you can neutralise your opponent's force and use it against him, or not, it all depends on whether you are able to relax and turn your kua. I guess that is one area that I will be focusing on in 2013.

Difference Between Good and Great

The difference between good and great is, one trains until he is tired, the other trains even when he is tired.

It's All In The Practice

No matter what style you do, it is still about how much you practise. No matter how well you understand the principles of taiji, it is still about how much you practise. Understanding is useless if you don't practise it; you won't be able to internalise your understanding without practice. Knowing many styles is useless if you don't practise them; you won't be able to understand what the styles are about without practice.

At the end of the day, it's all in the practice.

Only with practice will you be able to relax your kua. Only with practice will you be able to move your body as a whole, to link the movement of your hands to your legs. Only with practice will you be able to understand the different ways to apply each move in each of the style that you practise. Only with practice can you use what you learn.

Balloon, Not Concrete Ball

One of the principles of taiji is not to let your structure flatten, something which my teacher likes to refer to as "don't let your balloon flatten". But that doesn't mean you go all out to make sure that you maintain the structure as it is. If you do, it becomes a rigid structure, something very against the "relax" part of taiji.

So how do you relax, and yet don't let the structure flatten? Well, my teacher says it best. The structure is like a balloon! A balloon can be depressed, but it then bounces back into shape. So while you relax and allow the balloon to flatten a bit, you must then work towards "bouncing back into shape", regaining the original form.

So when your opponent's force comes, your structure may flatten a bit, but then you turn his force away, and while doing that, move your body to expand back the balloon into its original shape.

The thing is to be bouncy like a balloon, and not rigid like a concrete ball. With enough strength, you can push away a rigid concrete ball, but a bouncy balloon will deflect your force back towards you.

Catching Up

The end of the world (according to some...) saw me catching up with a fellow student of my teacher who has not been able to join us for practice due to personal commitments. It was great to be able to catch up, and instead of the usual practice (form practice), we did pushing hands practice instead. Great to be able to push hands again with someone who has been learning taiji from Mr Kwek much longer than I have. It reaffirmed the importance of a good foundation and learning the right things. Even though he hasn't been practising taiji for a while, because of his good foundation, he was still just as good at pushing hands as he used to be.

All the remains is for him to rejoin our practices!

Stand Closer

The other day, I noticed two of my fellow students pushing hands, but standing a bit further from each other than usual. My teacher advocates that we should stand such that our forward foot is side by side with our opponent's forward foot, at least that close to each other, if not closer. Instead, those two students were standing in such a way that their toes were in line instead.

End results? They can't really push at each other without leaning forward. Yes, standing further apart makes it harder for your opponent to push you, and gives you more space and time to react. But at the same time, your opponent will gain that same advantage (and disadvantage). In the end? You can't properly push each other, and thus you end up not learning how to properly neutralise your opponent's force too. You may not be pushed, but you end up not learning too.

So don't be afraid of being pushed. Stand closer, so that both you and your opponent can learn the right things and benefit from the practice.

Catching It... Again!

Just when I thought I was losing it, I think I have caught it again. All thanks to my teacher. No, he didn't actually answer my questions, but he was explaining something to someone else. And as I ponder over what he was explaining, and linked it with what I was thinking about, I started to see the link.

My problem is with single hand pushing hands. While I can neutralise my opponent's force so that he cannot push me, I have difficulty using his force against him. Just yesterday, my teacher was talking to another student about peng, then turn the forearm and push back. Very simple, very basic, in fact, something that I already know. Then I watched how he did it. He was drawing very small circles near the student, each moving progressively closer to the student. Yup, something that I have seen before. So I didn't think much about it.

Then today, while pushing hands with a fellow student, it came to me that progressively moving closer to the opponent is the key. The moment you sense your opponent's force, you need to peng to draw in his force and stick to it. Then, as you turn your forearm, it must move towards your opponent so that you are actually turning his force back towards him. This in effect is pushing him, but using his own force. And guess what? It actually works!

Catching It

Just when I thought I had made some progress, I again was made to feel that I hadn't.

The other day, while doing two hand pushing hands, I was able to relax, and my opponent bounced off when he tried to use a bit of strength. I was able to repeat this a few times. It seems I am getting somewhere with using my opponent's force against him.

But today, while doing single hand pushing hands, I was not able to do so... instead, while I was able to neutralise my opponent's force so that he couldn't push me, I was not able to use it to bounce him off. I was not able to use his force against him.

Back to the pondering and practice board...

Train As You Fight, Fight As You Train

Something which came to me while practising pushing hands. A simple principle, to train as you fight, but I came to realise how important it really is.

When practising your forms, it is not just about making sure you have the principles of taiji correct (such as keeping your body upright, relaxing the kua, sinking shoulders/elbows, linking upper and lower body, etc.) but also, you must keep in mind how you are going to apply each move. This constant thinking about how to apply each move is the intention (意) part of taiji. So you are constantly making sure your body moves in the manner you want, while thinking about how to use each move.

Then, when applying taiji, not only must you be thinking about how to use each move, you must still continue to make sure that your body is moving in the manner that you want (or rather, have been trained to do). Thus, while thinking about how to push someone, you still need to continue to check to make sure that you are moving in accordance to the principles of taiji.

Otherwise, your practice will be form with no meaning (just an empty shell), and when applying taiji, you may end up being overly obsessed with the end effect and not really apply taiji (end up using brute force because you are too focused on the pushing part, and not pushing in the taiji way).

Getting Worse From More Practice

After all these years of practice, I don't seem to be getting any better. Recently, I felt that I have been getting worse, in fact. I don't seem to be making progress, and I notice myself making more mistakes. At first, I thought it was because I was not practising enough. But then, recently, a friend of my teacher mentioned to me that, the more you learn, the more aware you are of your mistakes. Maybe that is what is happening to me. As I learn more and become more aware about myself, I start to become aware of my mistakes. I start to become aware that my posture is not as straight as I want it to be, my kua is not as relaxed as I want it to be.

Of course, it could also be that I really am not practising enough. So in order to know if I am indeed making progress or not, I need to do some soul searching and ask myself, have I indeed been practising enough?

Disappearing Force

Recently, I wrote about using my opponent's force. I then had the opportunity to talk to my teacher about it. My teacher then proceeded to demonstrate the same thing, yet what I felt was very different compared to when I was practising with my fellow student.

First, when my fellow student uses my force against me, it happens like this. When I push a bit, he would peng and it actually reminded me of aikiage from aikido. He would turn his arms slightly, and I can actually feel my arms being "locked" and my force being sent back all the way to my back leg. Then he would use his back leg to push and that would push me back.

For my teacher, I did not feel anything like that. When I push, it was as if my force was disappearing into a black hole. There is no slight turn of my teacher's arms, I don't feel my arms being locked or any force being sent back to my back leg. It was just as if all my force has disappeared. And then suddenly, it would all come back towards me and I will get pushed back.

My teacher went on to explain that the slight turning of the arm is a technique, but true use of taiji actually does not need to rely on that slight turning. Simply relax, then push. And I realised while practising my routine that it is something that I have already been doing, this "relax, then push" thingy. Relax, then use the front leg to push back so as to shift your weight back. Relax, then use the back leg to push so as to shift your weight in front. I have actually been doing this, and it remains to put this practice into use.

Learning From "After the Rain"

While watching "After the Rain", there was a scene in which a lowly samurai was facing a renowned master in a practice duel. The lowly samurai was actually trying to pull a fast one: he was going to quickly admit defeat, so as to put the master into a good mood and maybe even getting some money out of it. So he entered the duel without any intention to win, or even try winning.

To the renowned master, he was faced with an opponent that presented countless openings, yet this opponent somehow didn't seem to care that he had many openings. In the end, the renowned master admitted defeat: when faced with an opponent that didn't seem to care if he won or lost, the renowned master just didn't know what to do.

It reminded me about what I have learnt in taiji, that when we are fixated with winning, we end up losing. When we are afraid of losing, that fear of losing can be used against us. The renowned master couldn't use fear of losing against the lowly samurai; instead, he was afraid of taking any of the openings as it would fix him on a course of action and open him to counterattack instead.

Bottomline is still the same: Don't be fixated on winning, don't be afraid of losing.

Relearning Lessons

I was pushing hands with a fellow student and he was trying to teach me about how to lock in my opponent's force and then use it against him. What he told me reminded me very much about my experience learning pushing hands in Japan, and it seemed to be a repeat of those same things that I have learnt, such as having to link my hands and feet. And thinking back, maybe the same mistakes are still being made.

But it is the same question again: Is it enough to just learn this, or should I step through what my teacher has been teaching and eventually reach this stage? The first seems like the "quick fix", allowing me to quickly learn how to use my opponent's force against him. But stepping through the steps/stages seem to be more... rooted. Is there meaning in taking things one step at a time, or is achieving the end effect everything there is to this?

Sensing Different Types of Force

Today, I was pushing hands with my teacher, after which I pushed hands with other students in the class. I came to realise that I can sense two types of force: the taiji force that my teacher uses (steady but flexible) and the rigid force that the other students were using. Relax doesn't mean to be soft, that much we know. My teacher's force is strong, flexible, but nothing rigid like the force that other students use. So what is the difference between the two? I think it is the source of the force. One is rooted and moves using the kua, the other is local and depends on pure muscular strength.

So now that I can sense the difference between the two, it is about how to neutralise both types of force, and learn how to use both types of force against my opponents.

Becoming Lazy

I used to practice taiji on Sunday mornings, going to a class of my teacher. But ever since he stopped that class, I have not been practising on Sunday mornings. I have been telling myself, I should get up on Sundays, and go practise. But so far, I have not been able to do so... I am getting lazy. When I have classes to go to, I make myself go, because it is basic courtesy not to miss classes. But somehow, I still lack the self-discipline to get myself to practise on my own. Something for reflection...

Learning To Be Pushed

I was thinking about what learning pushing hands is about. It is about how to apply taiji, yes. But how to go about learning it? Is it to learn how to push? Because many of my fellow students seem to be focused on learning how to push each other. They seem to derive satisfaction from being able to push their opponent.

But if taiji is about being able to use your opponent's force against him, then maybe learning to push is just a manifestation? I was thinking, maybe pushing hands is actually about learning how to be pushed. Maybe it is about learning how to let your opponent push you, so that you can then use his force against him. I will be trying this mentality out for a while to see if I gain a better understanding of what pushing hands is about.

Getting Out of Tight Spots

I was pushing hands today with one of my fellow students when things got a bit too rough. I locked his arms and he try to struggle to break free, only making it easier for me to lock his arms even tighter. It got to a point in which I had to adjust my lock for fear of breaking his arm. When things got to such a rough stage, I quickly told him that the arm will break if he continues to use strength. He continued to struggle, but I was in a very good and forgiving mood today so I just tried my best not to hurt him. Eventually, I was able to adjust until I could release his arms without getting hurt myself (from his brute force struggling).

He came out of it saying that sometimes, even if it is dangerous, we should still try to see if we can get out of tight spots. To me, it is not worth it. I practise pushing hands not to see if I am better than others. I practise pushing hands not to see if I can get out of tight spots. I practise pushing hands to learn to relax, to learn to use my opponent's force against him, and thus, to avoid being in a tight spot in the first place.

The best way to get out of a tight spot is not to get in there in the first place.

Relax to Give Yourself Space

Another inkling of mine, while I was talking to another fellow student. In pushing hands, we are told to relax. Why? I think it is because only when you relax, can you actually move. A rigid person is locked in whatever posture he is in. Only when he relaxes, can he change his posture. So we are actually relaxing to give ourselves space to move.

Example: When two persons are locked together in a test of strength, if one suddenly relaxes, he is able to then divert his opponent's force to the side, causing his opponent to fall forward. This is what relaxing can do. Just that in taiji, we try not to get into this "test of strength" in the first place. We try to start off with the relaxed state, so that we are always ready to divert whatever force we encounter.