Due to COVID-19, this summer, I did not return to Singapore for my annual visit. And it made me realise the importance of that annual trip. Because that annual trip is for me to visit my teacher, and to show him how much I have dropped in my skills from the inadequate practice and lack of his guidance.
I try my best to practise in Japan, but compared to being in Singapore under the guidance of my teacher, it is very different. In Singapore, I have a teacher who points out my mistakes. I have regular lessons that I attend, and I attend them because there is some responsibility. For example, I help my teacher to lead some of this classes. There are also occasions when I ferry him to class. This means that I cannot miss lessons for no good reason. It prevents the lazy part of me from taking over.
Leading classes also mean that I cannot practise what I want during those classes. Instead, I have to arrive at class early, before everyone else, and do my own practice (usually in front of my teacher, who also arrives early). It also means I have a lot of practice. It also means that I am constantly being pressured to better myself, as I have to set a good example when leading the class. There is the incentive to improve.
While I don't really lead classes even on my annual trips back to Singapore now, I do attend some of the classes and help when I can. I also visit my teacher for private lessons to let him correct my mistakes and see how bad I have become. In order not to be criticised, I try to keep up my own practice while in Japan. My annual trip is my annual feedback session, and it helps guide me for the next year. On focus areas, as a way to know where I am.
So without this annual feedback this year, I kind of feel a bit of lack of motivation. I still practise, but I don't know if I am heading in the right direction. I don't know if the things I have trying with actually work. But I guess, with the situation being what it is now, things can't be helped. I just have to fight through this low point.
Looking forward to being able to return to Singapore in 2021.
